Iris
by Baudelaire'sOpheliac
Summary: They never warn you of the consequences of accepting the wolf... One Shot.


Warning ... Angst, Character Death, Romance.

Song Choice/Inspiration : Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow,  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,  
And I don't want to go home right now,

I didn't get my happily ever after, You always learn of the girl who ended up with her knight in shining armor, the girl whose feet fit the glass slippers, the ones who bit the poisonous apple, got her kiss and then walked off into the sunset. You know, the beauty with the lusciously blond hair and eyes of the bluest skies that with one look enraptured the attention of perfect man. All of these damn no good fairy-tales that you hear now are nothing more than the recycled remains of stories of times gone past. Decades, even centuries old, no one bothers to remember the true content of these stories, the gruesome horror that is what makes up human barbarity. Our original mermaid never got the prince, no he married the one that contented his heart. While hers was ripped away as she watched choosing instead to slip away into the ocean , never again to exist.

Our sleeping beauty was forcefully taken, never having the chance to live before a part of her died. We live these seemingly mundane lives, never stopping to think that there are very real, very evil beings out there. Biding their time, simply waiting to take what isn't theirs to take, leaving only the mangled remains to be taken care of.

We all read these stories, and we all think of these fairy tales and think them reality, ever focusing on the impurity of the nemesis, no as long as our princess got her happily ever after , screw the rest of the world right? Well its just goddamn wrong, it all started when I saw him. Too gorgeous for words really, it was fucking stupid of me to ever think that this man, no this absolute god would ever really want anything from me past a casual fuck. I knew his reputation, fuck really who didn't. But seeing him that day at the edge of the cliff, viciously ripping away the bandages covering up his newest tattoo, I was instantly lost. For a countless moment it seemed as though a bus had struck me rendering me incapable of breath. I was lost in the muscles rippling underneath the huge expanse of golden skin, and ebony hair that seemed to tickle his neck in an almost playful way. It took a moment for my eyes to really comprehend what it was that was forever etched upon his back but when I had I felt faint. I couldn't quite believe my eyes, Paul who had never called me anything more endearing than leech fucker had covered himself in … me. It shook me to my very core.

It was wrong. So very wrong, I knew it had always known. It was insane, the degree in which I was ensnared by him. Instincts are a natural thing, coming to those of all species, all races, not even the age of your should takes away your instincts, such an innate thing they are. Embedded within our very makeup, it was funny though that when it came to him my instincts never even whispered, at least never loud enough for my mind to hear. No never a whisper, his name however was a screech so loud that it was embedded within my very being, so deep into my psyche that my body couldn't tell where it began and where his ended. Paul. He was an enigma, he took over life, every waking moment and more often than not he'd bleed into my unconscious thought. Never found it odd how I gravitated towards him constantly. The need to be in his presence almost drove me to the brink of insanity. It was natural, it was instinct.

What do you do when the only being in the world that can calm you, the only one whose soul speaks to your own, is the very one that choose to cast you aside and tear you down. He broke me, in the worst of ways, he took away from me the will to exist. No it was more than that though, he took away my will to breathe; sleep was just another moment where I found no respite. He took away my innocence, without ever really trying I'd become his. The saddest part was that I could never really blame him, it wasn't his fault.

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
And sooner or later it's over  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

"God Damn It Ella." He roared at me, "It's you. From the first fucking second I knew you existed on this fucked up earth, it's been you. Always you." His voice cracked as he continued to implore me, "Why do you continue to hold my past against me? I didn't understand, I didn't know. Just fucking give me a chance."

"I can't Paul, what happens when I do huh? I end up giving in, giving you all of me, You'll consume me and then when you're bored, or see someone better you will leave. Where will that leave me?"

"That won't happen." He sounded so sure.

"How do you know that, you can't guarantee anyth-"

"Because, I FUCKING LOVE YOU. Because we are forever Ella, we make sense, because honey without you I'm absolutely nothing." Throughout his declaration, he had made his way over to me, cornering my body in between his and the wall. With his last words, his hand had come up to caress my cheek, and his head dipping to let his lips brush over mine relentlessly. My hands frantically made their way up to grasp his hair holding him to me. I'd always known that giving into him would be all encompassing. My life existence was no longer merely my own. How my first kiss ended up here both terrified and elated me, as he did what I'd always feared of him. He consumed me.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

They say a girl never forgets her first love, they were right. How do you forget someone who was your first everything? The only one who's ever held your very soul in the palm of his hand? You can't, you truly do stop living, and simply exist.

They always made it clear that a wolf would essentially cease to exist without its imprint. Well my wolf never should have worried about that. 'Take care of yourself Bella you wouldn't want him to get hurt.' I'd heard those words uttered countless times over the course of my life. They all worried so much about how he would react on the off chance that anything would happen to me. Their main concern was always of the pack…never once did they think to ask what would happen if the wolf perished before his mate.

No one should ever know the sheer agony of feeling half of your soul disappear. The constant presence that had wrapped itself around me since the moment our eyes had connected, suddenly gone. The mark that I'd proudly worn on my neck, turn frigid. I should never have had to wash his blood off of my hands after holding his cooling body to mine. This man who had always been a pillar of strength to me had used all of his strength to rasp out "It's only ever been you, Ella, only you." Before the light had left his eyes.

It had felt as though shards of glass had exploded into a thousand pieces, and each singe shard had decided to embed itself into every pore of my body. It was an inescapable pain, born from the knowledge that I would never again find myself bickering with him over mundane issues. There would no longer be days of waking up to the sight of his large hand splayed across my stomach. Nor would I ever again feel his fur beneath my fingers, or smell his scent; his wolf wouldn't nuzzle my hand or whine at me when I playfully ignored him. He wouldn't grow old with me; he would never grow at all.

I could only whisper, "It was only ever you." Into the empty expanse that had been a home until recently.

I learned that who I am, without him, was no one.

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's meant to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

It was days later when Jacob found her body, lying unmoving on the floor, a smile gracing her face. Countless empty pill bottles littered the floor around her corpse.

I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am


End file.
